![]() "William, this is Jack Bauer, Los Angeles Counter Terrorist Unit – have you ever cooked hot dogs before? No? Well don't worry 'cause I'm going to talk you through it. The following takes place between 7:00 PM and 7:15 PM. As I change my son's diaper, clean the apartment or prepare lunch, Jack Bauer from CTU is there, on his undying cell, talking me through the specifics of each action with bomb-defusing precision. ![]() My fantasy (well, one of them-I have many, most unrelated to 24) is that Jack Bauer, in his no-nonsense baritone flooded with purpose, guides me through the mundane tasks of my everyday life. The cast also includes veteran character actor Glenn Morshower (from the film Dead and Buried, and a whole host of TV and film roles.) I've always been a big fan of Weller's films, including Robocop, Buckaroo Banzai, Naked Lunch and especially the underrated 1983 man vs. ![]() The current season also features guest star Peter Weller as a cold-hearted, super-badass terrorist collaborator. Still, how could I resist the charms of CTU's resident super-nerd Chloe O'Brien (played by Mary Lynn Rajskub), a highly capable, no-nonsense government hacker dressed in vintage sweaters and a permanent scowl – my kinda girl. In fact, some people are very upset about 24 and the supposed message it sends about our eroding civil liberties. If the show weren't so damn entertaining, it would be completely indefensible. ![]() Kiefer Sutherland's "character" Jack Bauer, basically an unstoppable force of will with no bathroom needs and a never-dying cellphone battery, commits incredibly heinous acts every episode in the name of stopping the terrorists: he hijacks airplanes, chokes his girlfriend up against a wall, shoots innocent middle-aged women in the leg, and gets hapless civilians killed all the time and just says "damn it." (You may have even heard of the "damn it" drinking game there are other, more complex 24-themed drinking games too.) Considering that this is all supposed to be happening in one single day, that's an awful lot of malice, even in the name of patriotism. ![]() I have to be in front of the TV every Monday at 9 (fuck taping, I want to watch in "real-time"), and rarely do I get up during the hour, even to piss. In fact, I'm a whore for 24, Fox's utterly preposterous, improbable, real-time nailbiter about terrorist plots and the people who foil them. No sir, my Mom plopped me in front the set at a young age, and I still count on it sometimes for opialicious, escapist viewing. You may have guessed from my other posts here that I am not one of those superior "actually, I don't even own a TV" types that go to great lengths to eschew all television broadcasting-"except maybe some public television"-as unnecessary, unacceptable, or even evil, brain-rotting drivel. ![]()
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